Him . 👿

I just want you to know that I'm not mad at you .

Don't get shit mistaken tho, I do hate you . Why? I KNOW YOU DID NOT JUST ASK ME WHY! as many nights as I have sat up thinking to myself Why? You gonna ask me why ?! You Selfish son of a B- , you know what? I won't give you the satisfaction . I'll tell you why, since you asking . I hate you for all the times you called my phone.. Sweet talkin.. With that smooth ass mouthpiece ... Just so u can come over & get this smooth Ass&  omouth peice . But see I'm not mad at you baby, because that's my fault . I knew what you were about from the start. I knew you had little girlfriend.. I've even seen her around town . Thinking to myself I wonder if she knows how her man getting down. But that was my first mistake . Not messing with you in the first place.. Because I will never deny that I enjoy your taste.. Your body , your sex . Your late night phone calls & early morning texts . The mistake was catching feelings in the middle of the do . Mistaking your moans And groans & "uhhhhhh's" for I love you.  It was my fault for being so naive . For thinking that you stayed all night for me . I didn't catch myself and stop to think ... My mind was clouded by the bullshit this nigga was feeding me. Again, let me reiterate , I'm NOT mad at you . It's not your fault . All you wanted to do was me & I took that shit to heart.  It wasn't you it was me that took my own heart out my chest & ripped it apart ! See by allowing myself to indulge in your games , I set myself up for just what I got .. Heartbreak & pain. So to answer your question yes nigga, I hate you .. But not for what you did to me. I hate you for what I did to myself . I hate you for endangering my health . For making me look in the mirror & hate what I see . For feeling like I had so much bitch in me . I am a WOMAN I was born to feel . You made me feel like nothing was real.. Like I had to be a man & hide my emotions . Like I was supposed to put in a hard face & play the games that you set in motion . You made me feel USED.. I let you abuse me . Not physically nor mentally , but emotionally damage me. I hate you . Now don't get happy just yet , because I know you like to see me sad . But you will not today . I am MAD . But as angry as I am I have YET to cry , I won't even THINK about shedding a tear for you, I'd rather die .... From the embarrassment that you've already showered me with . You've labeled me as just another girl you've fucked , another heart you broken , as just another bitch . & for that I hate you . But wait.. I can smell the roses.. I will come back from this knockdown . I REFUSE to stay broken . & no I don't need another useless nigga to fix me . I will fix me . & it will just remain WE.  Me , myself & I . I will love myself , hold myself , kiss myself & touch myself . So easily , I will replace you . Soon it will be you , not me playing the fool . & THAT is a sight I cannot wait to see .  Now ask me WHY again , & see if I don'tk pick up a pen so quick & try my best to Stab you! Because you know right now I'd be glad too . When you hear this , know that i will no longer wait for you. So when you come running back .. no matter how long it takes you.. I sincerely want you to know that I hate you .