I couldn't believe my eyes. For the life of me, I couldn't gather why now?Ashlyn resembled her sister physically. They both wore a smooth caramel skin tone and a slim thick physique. Ashlyn wore her long light brown hair bone straight down the middle of her back. She pouted and gave me puppy face with her hazel eyes enhanced by long black lashes. She was just as beautiful as the day she left me and Avery. Just as beautiful as the day she had broken my heart. I had to have been staring at her blankly for more than a minute before I finally spoke.
"What the hell are you doing here, Ashlyn? How did you even find us?"
I asked.
I had answered the door in only my underwear. I could feel Ashlyn looking at my body , quickly she refocused on her sister standing behind me puzzled in the kitchen.
"I could answer that, Koran. Then you'd have to tell me why my baby sister is in your kitchen and you are half naked.. Care to go first?"
Ashlyn said calmly.
"You don't get to walk out of my life , out of Avery's life two fucking years ago and pop up my door asking me questions! Are you crazy?"
I was enraged. I didn't want her there. I didn't want her standing in front of my face flaunting what she took from me , what she took from Avery.
"You know what? Just leave before my son wakes up . I don't want him to see you ."
I said and I started to close the door on her . She put her arm out to stop the door from closing on her
"Koran, wait. You're right I'm sorry. I don't have the right to ask you questions... But come on Avery is my son too.."
She pleaded. I wanted to feel sorry for her, but how could I . She did this to herself . I hate her.
" So you can confuse him? He still doesn't understand why you left! You think I want to explain why you're back? GET OUT!"
Ashlyn looked to her sister and then looked to me and stepped away from the door . I wasted no time in slamming it in her face.
"Anty Missy!!! What are you doing here? Am I going with you today ? Please!"
I turned to find Avery standing behind me rubbing his eyes in his favorite ninja turtle footed pajamas,while at the same time jumping up and down from excitement. I loved is innocence. He had no cares in the world , always happy . I tried my best to keep that smile on his face , I would've been damned if Ashlyn was going to take it. I looked over to Missy, I needed help. So much was going through my mind I had no idea how to begin to process it.
"Go brush your teeth funk mouth , & we will have our fun day early this week. Go get ready."
Avery ran excitedly to his room to change his clothes and get ready .
"Thanks , Missy.. For helping ."
I said . I walked over to her & ran my fingers through her hair then I leaned in and kissed her . Missy and Ashlyn were complete opposites but shared the same features. Missy also had beautiful long light brown hair , but she wore hers in its natural state. It was usually pulled back into a puff of little wild tight curls. Her eyes were a beautiful hazel green . I fell in love with their eyes. It was the first thing I noticed when I met Ashlyn and the first thing I noticed when she introduced me to her artsy little sister.
"We still have to figure this out .."
Missy said quietly . Neither one of us wanted Avery to hear or see us , it would've been to confusing . I needed to know for sure what we were going to do before I included Avery.. But with Ashlyn popping up so unexpectedly it really threw me off, I had no answers .
"We will, Missy ."
Missy nodded her head & went to go help Avery get ready .
Missy and Avery had gone and I was alone with my thoughts . So much had happened since Ashlyn had left me . She couldn't have showed up at a worse time . I had been having feelings for Missy for about a year and I had finally acted on it and Ashlyn just pops up! Just like her , so fucking selfish . She didn't want me to be happy , she wanted me to sulk in misery forever .. I know it.
I couldn't sit in that damn apartment any longer . I needed to move . I put on a t-shirt and some basketball shorts , grabbed my workout bag and I walked to the 24 hour gym down the street .
I worked out for about two hours and while It was a great work out , My mind was still every where. I looked at my cell phone, it was 4:00 and Ashlyn had texted me about 14 times. I wouldn't answer . I had nothing to say to her ... The only woman I wanted to say anything to was Missy.
I had gotten my work out bag and headed home . I walked up the stairs of my apartment building and saw Ashlyn sitting outside of my door. She had already seen me or else I probably would have turned back around .
"Let me inside ,Koran . Let me explain myself ."
Ashlyn said as she stood up from sitting on the ground . I didn't want to talk to her , but it had to happen .
I didn't respond to her , but I unlocked my door & held it open for her to walk in .
She was still perfect .
"Why are you here , Ashlyn? Answer me , but make it quick . My son should be home soon and it's not time for him to see you yet."
I couldn't even look at her for long. I distracted myself by putting aside my work out bag and going to the kitchen to drink a protein meal replacer shake .
" I'm sorry . I know what I did was selfish ... I just I couldn't do it . I was overwhelmed Koran .. Running away seemed like the easiest way . You weren't there for me the way I needed you to be ... There's nothing I could say to justify my leaving but-"
I couldn't hear anymore.
" Just stop. It doesn't matter . YOU decided to quit your job , pack up your shit , & leave me while I was at work . You decided to end our marriage and you decided to not pick up a phone for 2 years or even send your son a fucking postcard ! There is NOTHING you can say to justify that , you're absolutely right . YET , here you are in front of me with your fucking lonely sob story . You could have told me ! You could have talked to me , Ashlyn you could have fucking TRIED! You left because you wanted to . SAY IT!!!"
Ashlyn's eyes welled up with tears and she turned away and headed for the door. I don't know why I did it , but I went after her . I sped in front of her and blocked the door so she couldn't leave.
"SAY IT!"
I yelled .
" I Wanted too !! Just in the moment baby , I thought I was right.. I thought it was the right thing to do. I had a plan I was leaving and I was going to come back for Avery.. But once I actually did it . Once I packed my things and I got on the next flight to Florida I realized I couldn't turn back . There was no fixing what I had done.. I was too embarrassed to come back after leaving you!"
Ashlyn was sobbing uncontrollably , but i still didn't feel sorry for her.
"What the fuck was in Florida ? You want to come in here with a sob ass lie about how I wasn't there for you . I BROKE MY BACK FOR YOU . You ran away with another man . You think I'm stupid ? You didn't leave just because , you had some motive. You thought you were going to runaway with another nigga and you and that nigga was gone raise my son?! That's what you thought ."
I was livid . Ashlyn didn't know . She thought that I was clueless , I knew that she had started seeing another man outside of our marriage , I just never expected her to leave me. I thought we had time to work things out but before we could she left .
She looked up at me surprised, her face wet with tears .
" I knew, Ashlyn ."
I said . I looked down at her . She couldn't speak , I knew why she had nothing to say . She thought I didn't know.
"Why was my little sister here earlier , Kori?"
Ashlyn said wiping away her tears .
Kori was her pet name for me , when we were together and a family.. When we were in love,
" Don't call me that."
I said then I pushed her to the side to walk back towards the living room .
"Why not? You'll always be Kori to me , Koran . Letting you go isn't easy for me..."
Ashlyn came walking towards me .
"I hope that's not why you came . Thinking that I still love you .."
Ashlyn stood behind the couch and placed her arms around my neck . She smelled so good . She leaned in and I could feel her breathing on my ear ... And I felt myself weakening. A part of me definitely still loved her , but she would never know it.
" You need to leave , Ashlyn. Now."
She backed up.
"WHY was Missy here? Are you fucking my baby sister , Kori?! I left and you decide to start fucking my sister, is that it?"
Ashlyn walked around the couch from behind me and stood in front of me.
"Who is in my home is none of your damn business ! I don't owe you SHIT let alone an explanation ."
I had had it . Ashlyn had really pissed me off . I wanted her to disappear from my life all over again . Even though a sliver of me wanted to kiss her.. Touch her .. Hold her like I used to . My feelings were everywhere . I just needed my space . I wouldn't be waiting for long . Ashlyn grabbed her purse and headed for the door .
" I'll let this go for now. But I want to see Avery , and soon."
She said before she left . I had gotten myself into some shit and I hadn't the slightest idea how to go about Ashlyn's reappearance or my feelings for Missy .
No comments:
Post a Comment