One thing I will never be By Camille Denine

One thing I'm not 

One thing I will never be

Is your play thing .Your sweet talk her, so she feels warm inside. But really won't even give her the time of day thing . I am not easily satisfied with words. I require your actions and motives to be as genuine and thorough as my love for you.

I don't want to hear any more.

I need to see. 

Show me what your willing to do.

The future we talked about I still see it. The man I need in you .. You can still be it .Choices are the only things that will come between it. The difference from now is crucial to then.

I want to look at you and feel in love again .

- Camille Denine 💔🔑. 

Raw . by Camille Denine

It's seemingly dark where I am now .

I've never found myself so detached.

Everyday I can feel myself struggling to keep my sanity in tact .

I've lost my ability to control my feelings .

Inside of me there is an open battle field .

I've lost all hope for healing .

My mind is sinking like my heart did when I felt the sharp betrayal of a friend .

When everything I had busted my ass for and worked for was snatched up from under me in an ugly end .

Pent up , built up stress I'm going to fucking explode . 

I am weak , at the bottom I sit I've never sunk so low .

Forcing myself to write something anything that can help release ..

& reading These words I can tell that even my best talent has left me .

I feel naked .

Stripped of any sense of security.

It's as if this year alone has swallowed me whole , chewed me up & open its mouth as if it is going to finally release me and spit me out but then viciously sucks me back in . 

When ? Just when in the fuck will this bullshit end ? I am doing my best to maintain , I'm dragging my ass to work every fucking day , paying bills that I can't afford to pay , I CANT GET ANYTHING TO GO MY FUCKING WAY .

They don't think I can hear them . Everybody has something to say .. 

Something about me .

About how I did it to myself .

How this is what it took for me to see.

I'm quiet , so they don't think that I am listening .

They just don't know .

I am  like an unattended pot brewing and brewing and brewing for so long that eventually I will have no choice but to overflow.

I feel like I am crazy.. 

This can't be healthy to feel completely isolated and alone .

Itch . By Camille Denine

It itches .

Irritates my skin .

Burning holes in my brain .

I'm too weak to keep holding it in .

Mind fucked me until I tightened my legs & my sense came .

Left a scar so deep no HE can fix .

Pessimistic to their feelings 

I'm convinced that their all tricks 

So every night when I lie in the bed alone .

Depressing thoughts making my mind their home .

I feel that itch .

-Camille Denine💞

Somewhere Inbetween You . By Camille Denine

I feel like we don't see eye to eye..

Seems as if everything is changing

Where we were last week compared to now has changed drastically ..

Sometimes things just don't work ..& I don't understand it ..

Have we gotten so used to the every day routine that we have taken one another for granted ? 

I think the place that you are in mentally & the space that I am in emotionally together don't make much sense .

But neither do we .. 

That doesn't change how passionate our love was , or how intense .

It shouldn't change the rush I get from kissing you 

Or the butterflies in my stomach I get just from missing you 

I don't know if it's worth the heart ache I'm trying to spare myself the pain , 

I should be ashamed . 

I can't run away from the inevitable,

& the inevitable , just happens to be you .

I don't know if our love is wise

But I do believe it's true .

I don't know how to go about anything 

I just know that whatever I want , I want it from you ..

- Camille Denine 😕

Rayne Down . By : Camille Denine

She couldn't believe it . After everything she had given him he had betrayed her . She couldn't think straight , all she could do was pace back and forth in her kitchen replaying the image of her husbands dick in her best friends mouth in THEIR bedroom. She was sweating, although it wasn't warm in temperature she was sweltering .

She absentmindedly started raiding her kitchen looking for anything fragile & hauling it across the room .

"KENYA, STOP! I didn't know you were coming home! Just listen-"

Her husband had run after her downstairs completely naked, trying to explain himself . Explain what she had seen .

"TO WHAT ?!"

She yelled 

"LISTEN TO WHAT YOU FUCKING LIAR!! YOURE A LIAR!!!"

She screamed as she launched a glass at her husbands face, luckily for him he had great reflexes he had ducked and missed it just before it made contact with his head. Before he could get another word out , he noticed Kenya's attention was no longer focused on him. Rayne was standing on the staircase.. In nothing but his t-shirt watching .

"BITCH!" 

Is all Kenya could say . She was enraged ! Kenya started to run towards Rayne , but her husband intercepted her & grabbed her & wrestled her to the ground.

"Baby, just listen to me!! I'm so sorry , I'm sorry baby I didn't mean-"

Kenya cut him off screaming in his face. She couldn't bare to listen to his pitiful sobbing after he betrayed her.

Suddenly There's a loud gun shot to the ceiling . Kenya & her husband startled turned towards Rayne who was still standing on the stair case in his t-shirt, but now was holding a gun in her hand pointing it towards the ceiling .

"Dixon.. Did you ..FORGET THAT I WAS HERE?! How could you just forget about me as soon as she comes in ? Why does everyone always FUCKING FORGET ABOUT ME?!"

Rayne yelled from the staircase to Dixon, Kenya's husband . She seemed to be frozen in that spot. 

With her husband still weighing on top of her Kenya fought to get up , he still restrained her .

"This is my wife , Rayne.. I love her . You couldn't have possibly thought that I would leave her? Put the gun down, Rayne .. Put my fucking gun down!"

Rayne had gone into Dixon's bedside drawer, after he had pushed her aside to run after Kenya , and took his .45 colt, slipped into his t-shirt and started towards the stairs.

"FUCK you , Rayne , phony BITCH! GET OFF OF ME DIXON!!"

Kenya had finally been able to push Dixon off of her and when she did , She got up and ran straight for Rayne. Rayne had panicked and fired the gun with her eyes closed . When she opened her eyes , Kenya had been shot in the abdomen .

"NOOOO! Baby! Rayne what did you do!!"

Kenya had fallen to the ground and Dixon began to pick her up and carry her towards the door . 

Rayne was in shock , she couldn't believe she had shot her best friend . They had been friends for 10 years . Would've done anything for her.. She never thought she would be standing in the shoes that she was in .. That was all over now .

As Dixon reached and opened the front door , Rayne had looked over & shot him in the back . He cried out in pain and fell to his knees , dropping Kenya who had lost consciousness and was bleeding to death . 

She walked over to the nearly lifeless bodies . She kissed her friend's tear streaked face.

"Don't.. Don't touch her.." Dixon barely mumbled before he too lost consciousness. She then kissed his face as well..

"Didn't you even see me , Dixon? I've been standing here the whole time.."